Dated: 01-Sep-2022
So after I left my job in the last organization as a Project Manager, I decided it was time for me to move onto what I should have moved on 10 years ago. Software and Development. Even as a kid I always had one answer to what I want to grow up to become and the answer was a Video Game Developer. Tech is what I love. I adore it. If my arch enemy would be slitting my throat and would ask me at that point any tech question, I would give him a genuine answer. That's how much I love tech.
I made a lot of mistakes as a kid, mainly not pushing hard enough that I should go for CS or IT as my mainstream bachelor and when the courses went nuts I lost track and wanted to do everything but study. I will tell you about it some other time because that will take up a lot of storage on the server to write. It's a very uninteresting story with the only silver lining that my love of computers kept me alive.
Now that I am in a situation where I can start fresh and let go of the time I deem wasted career-wise ever since I started college back in 2012, I can move ahead.
I confess that I should have stopped everything whenever I had an awakening and started learning development and should have taken a job back in the day, but no worries, I finally can.
Now that the intro part of this thing is over, I can finally move ahead with my progress. I believe in accountability and if I am not telling you my progress, however worse that is, I believe I am wasting my time.
I might have been waiting for my mechanical keyboard which arrived today. Also, now that most of the game reviews with the new laptop are complete, I don't need to worry about making any sort of videos for youtube.
Read like 4 minutes of the video and it made me angry that this is how little I could study. The main reason I would say I did that was that I was unable to keep focus. I need very very few distractions around me and studying in the room that's outside the kitchen and is used as a storage room with the TV in front of me is a big distraction. So, the next day I decided to move everything to the first floor.
So I just moved upstairs right now because I was getting frustrated and angry with myself for not being able to focus at all. There are constant distractions below. And now that I am upstairs which is a bit hot I would admit it's at least free from anyone. If even one person is sleeping in the same room I can't seem to focus at all. I don't care what you call it but it is what it is and the only sound I want to hear is the mechanical sound that my keyboard makes while I start typing on the keyboard.
One more thing, my cousin Buddhu called last night and I kind of influenced him a lot to get Electrical Branch because he had strong subjects in the area. But after I realized and he too that he might not be able to clear the entrance exams to get a tenure position with the Government, he might have to go to private companies.
If you're not familiar with the job situation in India, any core branch: Civil, Mechanical & Electrical, sucks when it comes to private jobs. You should only ever get a dull government job and suck the life out of you. It changes people. People who were jolly and friendly turned into absolute nightmares to even talk with. They start caring about their fake statuses and start demanding respect from just about anyone. This fake ego in them makes it impossible to even have a normal conversation with them because they seem to find happiness in belittling other people. If you think I am wrong and you have recently joined a Government job, give it a few years and we will talk again.
In any case, so he is also preparing for IT jobs which he should get in his final year which happens to be in about 6-7 months, just about to learn languages enough to get a decent salary at the beginning.
We both decided on Java and I enrolled in three courses: Learnquest Java Core, Oracle's free Java Course and SimplyLearn free Java just to get the certificates to show that we have something to get into Java ourselves.
Now that I have started to study, I will let you know about my progress soon.
-2 hours later-
So here's how my body tricks me. It sees a bed beside me and I start feeling sleepy. "I will just lie down and sleep" but the thing is I don't sleep. I just pick up my phone and start wasting time on time-wasting apps. The body plays tricks so that I don't have to study and then I feel bad because I didn't study.
So the first thing I did was fold the blanket on the bed into half so that at least it's not easy just to lie down and the second I uninstalled the TV watching app I normally use Stremio and have decided to only watch the movies when I go back down between bricks even though I want to watch the movie Nightcrawler.
Now the patches on the screen of this laptop have started bothering me. Maybe I should start meditating seriously. Let's just do a 10-minutes Anapana meditation.
- 10 mins later -
That helped a lot. 10 mins are not nearly enough to calm me down but it's certainly enough to bring me back to my what I am doing. Now I have like 45 more minutes before the kids arrive and I will have to go out for another hour or so. Be back and will let you know the progress.
I studied the next 4 mins of the video but I got called below and everything went haywire I watched the movie completely and didn't try much to get back to the study. And the day ended.
~0100hrs: So the day started at 00:00 and I started to learn right away. I guess it's somewhere fit in the mind that if a day is ruined, it's ruined and no matter what I do I can't amend it. So I remember I read something related to the same that don't think of a block of time as a day. Think like a quarter of a day. If one-quarter of a day is bad, you can fix it in the next quarter. And I am going to start with that mentality now.
My blocks for the day: 6-9, 9-12, 12-15, 15-18, 18-21, 21-0 & 0-6 is blocked out for Sleeping mainly. So I have six blocks in a day and that should help. I already studied more than I studied yesterday.
1433 hrs: God! What happened? I woke up, dropped my mother off at school and I should have theoretically started studying but I fell a bit asleep after eating too much hence I went to bed but just scrolled away on the phone for a long time hoping the digital wellbeing app will disable the app itself after the set minutes but it didn't. Anyways, I think taking the laptop to the room below might not have been a good choice in hindsight. In any case, let's begin as kids will be here by 4 and I am thinking of walking to the doctor mainly because it's been a few days since I went out for a walk.
I studied for 11 mins but I have eaten too much and was feeling sleepy. Maybe I shouldn't eat so much from tomorrow. Gonna take a break. Although what I am learning is interesting.
1837 hrs: I think I am having anxiety attacks. And I believe I have been having them for a long time. I do want to spend some time meditating actually. Let's do 10 minutes of Anapana before going back to study actually.